"The power to parent does not arise from techniques, no matter how well meant, but from the attachment relationship."
In other words, effective parenting comes from the strength of the loving bonds between a parent and child and a willingness to cooperate together.
"The secret of a parent's power is in the dependence of the child. Children are born completely dependent, unable to make their own way in this world. [They] are utterly reliant on others for being taken care of, for guidance and direction, for support and approval, for a sense of home and belonging.
Children need guidance and direction. Children crave emotional support, approval, and a sense of home and belonging." Actually we all crave that don't we? If we do not supply the emotional support and sense of approval children crave, they will not look to us for guidance and direction. They will look for directions from wherever they feel supported and approved of.
The more I focus on connecting with my son through emotion coaching, and gentle persuasion, the more he is willing to follow the household program. That means fewer power struggles! Yay!
Happiness depends on the strength of family connections!