They love to tattle.
Taken from my childhood development essay: Other-regulation is the term coined by followers of Vygotsky to describe a situation in which a person is regulating another person or is being regulated. Other-regulation in the form of recognizing other people’s behavior is a precursor to the reflective thinking found in self-regulation. Self-regulation is regulating one’s own behavior and is a function higher cognitive development. Self-regulation is another name for self-control. In other words, recognizing other kids's behavior happens before kids can recognize and control their own behavior.
It applies to adults as well. The important premise to remember is that people are better able to see the mistakes in other people’s behavior than in their own.
Preschool age children recognize others making mistakes and breaking rules before they can recognize themselves making mistakes and breaking rules. Kids tattle on each other. Young children often tattle on others while they are violating the same rules they are tattling on!
Followers of Vygotsky view tattling as an important step in being able to regulate one’s own behavior and would never advise punishing a child for tattling!
In other words, recognizing other kids bad behavior is an important step before a child can learn self-control. So when a kid tattles, don't automatically punish the tattling. Turn tattling into a learning experience. If you witness the same behavior, say, "You're right. I'm glad you noticed that." or "That's not the best way to handle it." If you did not witness the behavior, ask, "What do you think of that behavior?" "What might be a better way for them to handle it?" "What would you do?"
Love,
Alison
It applies to adults as well. The important premise to remember is that people are better able to see the mistakes in other people’s behavior than in their own.
Preschool age children recognize others making mistakes and breaking rules before they can recognize themselves making mistakes and breaking rules. Kids tattle on each other. Young children often tattle on others while they are violating the same rules they are tattling on!
Followers of Vygotsky view tattling as an important step in being able to regulate one’s own behavior and would never advise punishing a child for tattling!
In other words, recognizing other kids bad behavior is an important step before a child can learn self-control. So when a kid tattles, don't automatically punish the tattling. Turn tattling into a learning experience. If you witness the same behavior, say, "You're right. I'm glad you noticed that." or "That's not the best way to handle it." If you did not witness the behavior, ask, "What do you think of that behavior?" "What might be a better way for them to handle it?" "What would you do?"
Love,
Alison
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