This thought broke my heart today...
"Scolding and punishment frighten children. Their natural tendency when scared is to cling to their mother, but she is the one doing the scolding, and in doing so she is pushing the child away from her. This causes additional anxiety, and the child is frustrated- unable to act on his or her natural impulses. The people who are supposed to shield the child from anxiety and comfort the child are instead the source of an anxiety from which the child can find no shelter. This means that repeated and/or severe scolding may damage the child's fundamental trust." (Sigsgaard quoted in Soft-Spoken Parenting by H. Wallace Goddard)