http://www.gordontraining.com/leadership-training/communications-roadblocks-how-to-improve-the-flow/ Author/Creator, Alexander Denzler L.E.T. Trainer/Licensee for Saudi Arabia
This is a visual of the twelve roadblocks of communication. They block the natural flow of conversation. Thomas Gordon teaches about these roadblocks in his book Parent Effectiveness Training, which I love! PET is like my parenting bible. He was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize for this stuff; it is that great!
Anyway, he teaches that anytime we start communicating in these ways, we tend to shut off communication with the other person. A spouse, a child even a friend sometimes is put off by these methods of communicating. The stones we lay down in our communication can send them off on an easier path away from our conversation.
I am proud to say that I have pretty much eliminated ordering, criticizing and labeling. But I consistently do all the others! No wonder I can turn off my son and my husband! Luckily, my husband feels competent on his own so he doesn't take my advising, analyzing or using logic personally. He views it as part of my quirkiness.
But my son will think that I think he is not competent enough to figure out stuff on his own, he just shuts down sometimes when I try to solve his problems in these ways.
I am going to read that chapter again. I can't remember why moralizing and praising are roadblocks. To understand how some of these seemingly harmless methods of communication are roadblocks, it helps to read his logic. I believe it!
I will print out this picture and hang it on my wall where I can remember to not use these roadblocks in communication. When I am aware of it, it really works!
Anyway, he teaches that anytime we start communicating in these ways, we tend to shut off communication with the other person. A spouse, a child even a friend sometimes is put off by these methods of communicating. The stones we lay down in our communication can send them off on an easier path away from our conversation.
I am proud to say that I have pretty much eliminated ordering, criticizing and labeling. But I consistently do all the others! No wonder I can turn off my son and my husband! Luckily, my husband feels competent on his own so he doesn't take my advising, analyzing or using logic personally. He views it as part of my quirkiness.
But my son will think that I think he is not competent enough to figure out stuff on his own, he just shuts down sometimes when I try to solve his problems in these ways.
I am going to read that chapter again. I can't remember why moralizing and praising are roadblocks. To understand how some of these seemingly harmless methods of communication are roadblocks, it helps to read his logic. I believe it!
I will print out this picture and hang it on my wall where I can remember to not use these roadblocks in communication. When I am aware of it, it really works!
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