Kids grow up. Life goes on

I have to be careful about what I read before I go to bed. 

 When I read blogs about moms mourning the fact that their children are growing up, I think about my son growing up.  I get anxious that the time is going too fast and I am not doing enough to maximize the time I have with him.  

And if I happen to be maximizing the time I have with him, then I get anxious that I am not documenting our experiences enough and I will forget them.  I feel a sense of dread about losing the precious moments with my precious son.  

This was three years ago!

Then I can't sleep.  

Then I am less patient the next day.  

I am less patient at bedtime when my son is all ready for bed but he is lying on the floor holding his eye.  "Come on, get up." I tell him, ignoring the fact that he is holding his eye and acting hurt.  "Get up and wash those dirty, stinky hands," I say as I start pulling on his arm.  I just want him to get clean and get into bed and fall asleep, now!  We are still tired from late summer nights and not into our school bedtime routine yet.  I don't want his daily behavior to get out of control, and what if he starts having problems at school from lack of sleep!  He says, "You bumped my eye."    I apologize and say it was an accident and that I didn't even know I did.  Hands get washed, good!   

We have fun playing Blokus before bed

As I try to help him relax in bed, we play Blokus on the ipad like we do at bedtime.  He says, "Mom, you don't like me?"   I realize I must sound gruff and anxious to him.  I explain that Of course I love him and I will always love him, hug and kiss, but it is late and I just want him to fall asleep and I am trying to beat this game and we are probably going to lose this game.  I say, "I am just trying to win this game," in a funny voice and he laughs and asks me to repeat it a bunch of times so I do.  And he laughs every time.  Good feelings are restored. 

I realized that losing sleep over his passing childhood has prevented me from being able to enjoy the here and now with him.  Luckily our happy bedtime moment last night was saved.  But I don't want to be sad about his vanishing childhood and lose any more sleep.

The key to happiness is to help others as much as possible and to be grateful for the simple and natural things in life.

As I was pulling weeds in this flower bed today, I told myself,  "Face it.  Kids grow up and life goes on."  I like my life.  And I have learned how to live my life in an enjoyable way even when things and people very dear to me have been taken away from me.  I know how to get by and be happy.  I have heard that is how centenarians live to be 100.  They cope well with losses.  I can, too. KNOCK ON WOOD. 



We will remember everything

I also reminded myself that in the next life we will be able to instantly recall every experience we have here on earth.  We will be able to remember every second of every day.  These fun precious moments will not be lost because we will remember them.  They are in our brains forever.  And as we learn how to use our brains to their capacity, we will recall everything.  That is what I believe.

I also reminded myself that if being a mother and having a family on earth is heavenly, that the loving God I have come to know will provide a way for those heavenly feelings to continue in the next life and be even better without the trials of earth life we have here.  I am guessing that being a mother in the next life without trials will be exquisite!  Who knows? I am hoping to be a mother of millions in the next life!  :-) 

I sure love being a Mom here and now to this little boy.

Love,
Alison