Browsing Pinterest, I clicked on a blog post called '10 Habits for a well-run home' from thestressedmom.com. It had nice tips such as: do the dishes before you go to bed, and do a load of laundry every day.
I read all 142 comments from various moms who are in various stages of following the housecleaning advice. Some moms angrily accused the host of plagiarism from someone named Fly Lady, while others said the tips are universal and are not plagiarized.
The comment I can't stop thinking about is from Michelle: insightful and hilarious.
Michelle's comment about the 10 habits: "This list is hilarious. This really should be titled “10 Habits to Become A Boring Mommy Drudge.”
My best tips for being a “great wife and mom”:
- Get a housekeeper. There is a book out there called “A Housekeeper is Cheaper Than a Divorce.” It’s the truth. A housekeeper is cheaper than a lot of things, including constant teeth-grinding about the state of the toilets and constant fights with everyone about how much cleaning you have to do. Eat out a few less times a month; cut down the grocery bill by ditching expensive packaged snacks and convenience foods; stop buying craft supplies you don’t ever have time to use; and cut out recreational shopping. A housekeeper will enrich your life far more than ALL of those things by giving you the gift of TIME.
- Stop cleaning up after your husband. You’re not HIS maid, either. He’s a grown adult. If he was living on his own, he would have to take out his own trash, do his own laundry, pick up his own dry cleaning, buy his own groceries, etc. He can do all that, and more, for your household. Too many women out there become their husband’s mother, and then wonder why the passion has gone out of their marriage, and why their husbands look at other women. News flash: he sees you as a house-slave who mommies him, not a passionate partner. And, you’re too tired from picking up his crap to feel romantic. Ditching the dutiful-wife routine will bring the spark back.
- Don’t go to bed early if your husband stays up late and then sleeps later than you do. That’s a good way to ensure you won’t have time to connect with each other. Also, what do you think he’s doing while you’re going to bed early so you can wake up early and be the perfect mommy? He’s not working on his honey-do list, I can tell you. Put the kids to bed, pour some wine, ask him about his day.
- Ditch the daily laundry, bathroom cleaning, and meal-planning. Call a girlfriend. Get a pedicure and read a magazine while you’re there. Read a book. Read the news. Play with your kids. Go to the library. Go talk to a neighbor. Take a walk. Do something so that you have something interesting to say to your husband when he gets home other than “the sink in the bathroom is clogged again.” Do something so that your kids see you as something other than a housemaid who cares more about the kitchen counters than world affairs, politics, science, or her own health and welfare.
- The biggest one: stop being such a [dang] martyr to the house. Your house does not love you back. It will not nurse you when you are sick. It cannot cuddle you when you feel lonely, or have sex with you when you feel randy. You are not living in a constant reality TV show where cameras are following you around. Your kids don’t give a crap if the house is perfect, the laundry and dishes are always done, etc., and neither does your husband. They care about YOU. As long as you are not living in a house worthy of HOARDERS, who cares if the bathrooms are not spotless every single day???
Let go. Tune in, turn on, and drop out of drudgery. Live a little. You’ll be a happier and more interesting person for it."
Today I am trying to live a little.
Tonight is our date night and I don't want to be a worn-out housecleaning drudge. :-)
I read all 142 comments from various moms who are in various stages of following the housecleaning advice. Some moms angrily accused the host of plagiarism from someone named Fly Lady, while others said the tips are universal and are not plagiarized.
The comment I can't stop thinking about is from Michelle: insightful and hilarious.
Michelle's comment about the 10 habits: "This list is hilarious. This really should be titled “10 Habits to Become A Boring Mommy Drudge.”
My best tips for being a “great wife and mom”:
- Get a housekeeper. There is a book out there called “A Housekeeper is Cheaper Than a Divorce.” It’s the truth. A housekeeper is cheaper than a lot of things, including constant teeth-grinding about the state of the toilets and constant fights with everyone about how much cleaning you have to do. Eat out a few less times a month; cut down the grocery bill by ditching expensive packaged snacks and convenience foods; stop buying craft supplies you don’t ever have time to use; and cut out recreational shopping. A housekeeper will enrich your life far more than ALL of those things by giving you the gift of TIME.
- Stop cleaning up after your husband. You’re not HIS maid, either. He’s a grown adult. If he was living on his own, he would have to take out his own trash, do his own laundry, pick up his own dry cleaning, buy his own groceries, etc. He can do all that, and more, for your household. Too many women out there become their husband’s mother, and then wonder why the passion has gone out of their marriage, and why their husbands look at other women. News flash: he sees you as a house-slave who mommies him, not a passionate partner. And, you’re too tired from picking up his crap to feel romantic. Ditching the dutiful-wife routine will bring the spark back.
- Don’t go to bed early if your husband stays up late and then sleeps later than you do. That’s a good way to ensure you won’t have time to connect with each other. Also, what do you think he’s doing while you’re going to bed early so you can wake up early and be the perfect mommy? He’s not working on his honey-do list, I can tell you. Put the kids to bed, pour some wine, ask him about his day.
- Ditch the daily laundry, bathroom cleaning, and meal-planning. Call a girlfriend. Get a pedicure and read a magazine while you’re there. Read a book. Read the news. Play with your kids. Go to the library. Go talk to a neighbor. Take a walk. Do something so that you have something interesting to say to your husband when he gets home other than “the sink in the bathroom is clogged again.” Do something so that your kids see you as something other than a housemaid who cares more about the kitchen counters than world affairs, politics, science, or her own health and welfare.
- The biggest one: stop being such a [dang] martyr to the house. Your house does not love you back. It will not nurse you when you are sick. It cannot cuddle you when you feel lonely, or have sex with you when you feel randy. You are not living in a constant reality TV show where cameras are following you around. Your kids don’t give a crap if the house is perfect, the laundry and dishes are always done, etc., and neither does your husband. They care about YOU. As long as you are not living in a house worthy of HOARDERS, who cares if the bathrooms are not spotless every single day???
Let go. Tune in, turn on, and drop out of drudgery. Live a little. You’ll be a happier and more interesting person for it."
Today I am trying to live a little.
Tonight is our date night and I don't want to be a worn-out housecleaning drudge. :-)
RSS Feed