I subscribed to a newsletter called Parenting Journey at www.arfamilies.org
I Love it!!  They quote my favorite book!

""Parents have a tremendous opportunity to influence their kids' emotional intelligence by helping them learn self-soothing behaviors from infancy on." (John Gottman, professor of psychology, in his book, Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child. p. 41)

When your child is upset or afraid, first soothe yourself. Take a deep breath. Think about their challenges. Then comfort them. Instead of lecturing them, let them know that they are heard and that their feelings matter. When children know their needs will be met when they are appropriately expressed, children will learn to handle small upsets in life on their own."

Love,
Alison

John Gottman, Phd was a mathmetician before he became a professor of psychology at the University of Washington.  He has managed to combine the scientific method to the erratic and highly subjective  study of human behavior.   He has found through science, more peaceful and effective ways of dealing with other humans beings.  He uses the heartbeat, sweatglands, facial expressions and other body facts to measure the stress level of family members as they interact together.  He has been able to effectively reduce stress and fighting in families through the communication skills he teaches.     Being a nurse and a psychology student, I see the incredible value of linking the two very different sciences.    I LOVE him!!
I saw him once at a seminar and I really wanted to tell him I love him!  I am enthralled with his research data.  I am grateful for the years of research he has done and his willingness to share his findings to help families get along better.  He is my hero!  My life is so much better from applying his knowledge.  But I was too chicken to walk up to him during the bathroom break.  Ha ha!