Taken from the Preface of the book, Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child: Even the most warm, loving and caring parents often have attitudes about emotions that get in the way of being able to talk to children effectively when the child is sad, afraid or angry. Love is not enough, by itself. Channeling that love into some basic skills that parents practise as if they are coaching their child in the arena of emotion was enough.
John Gottman and his research team have studied parents and children in very detailed laboratory studies and followed the children as they developed. After a decade of research, the team encountered a group of parents who did five very simple things with their children when the children were emotional. They call those five things "Emotion Coaching." They found that the children who had Emotion Coaching parents were on an entirely different developmental trajectory than the children of other parents.
The Emotion- Coaching parents had children who simply had more general abilities in the area of their own emotions than children who were not coached by their parents. These abilities included being able to regulate their own emotional states. The children were better at soothing themselves when they were upset. They could calm down their hearts faster. Because of the superior performance in that part of their physiology that is involved in calming themselves, they had fewer infectious illnesses. They were better at focusing attention. They related better to other people, even in the tough social situations they encountered in middle childhood like getting teased, (where being overly emotional is a liability not an asset.) They were better at understanding people. They had better friendships with other children. They were better at situations in school that required academic performance.
In short, they had developed a kind of "IQ" that is about people and the world of feelings, or emtional intelligence. The book, Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child will teach you the five steps of Emotion Coaching so that you can raise an emotionally intelligent child.
I hope to help parents learn the principles of Emotion Coaching since they have completely changed my family relationships for the better! We are more tolerant of our moods and can work through all of our negative emotions easier with less frustration and fewer power struggles. I am a fan!!!!
John Gottman and his research team have studied parents and children in very detailed laboratory studies and followed the children as they developed. After a decade of research, the team encountered a group of parents who did five very simple things with their children when the children were emotional. They call those five things "Emotion Coaching." They found that the children who had Emotion Coaching parents were on an entirely different developmental trajectory than the children of other parents.
The Emotion- Coaching parents had children who simply had more general abilities in the area of their own emotions than children who were not coached by their parents. These abilities included being able to regulate their own emotional states. The children were better at soothing themselves when they were upset. They could calm down their hearts faster. Because of the superior performance in that part of their physiology that is involved in calming themselves, they had fewer infectious illnesses. They were better at focusing attention. They related better to other people, even in the tough social situations they encountered in middle childhood like getting teased, (where being overly emotional is a liability not an asset.) They were better at understanding people. They had better friendships with other children. They were better at situations in school that required academic performance.
In short, they had developed a kind of "IQ" that is about people and the world of feelings, or emtional intelligence. The book, Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child will teach you the five steps of Emotion Coaching so that you can raise an emotionally intelligent child.
I hope to help parents learn the principles of Emotion Coaching since they have completely changed my family relationships for the better! We are more tolerant of our moods and can work through all of our negative emotions easier with less frustration and fewer power struggles. I am a fan!!!!
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