Three Kinds of Understanding that Facilitate Compassion:
"1. Understanding development: recognizing that many of the irritating things children do are an important and normal part of their development
2. Understanding their unique temperaments or personalities: recognizing that each child has a unique way of navigating life—and, with compassion, we learn to accept and value his or her way
3. Understanding their circumstances: being tuned into the stresses and demands in their lives so that we can be compassionate and supportive
You may already see an important theme developing: Children do what they do for reasons that make sense to them. Children do not cry in the night because they love to make us suffer. They do not fight with their siblings because they are hateful people. In every case they do what they do in order to survive. Their actions may not be the best approach, but they are motivated by some perceived need in the child.
There is an important corollary to this observation: When we think that their behavior is crazy or irrational, we do not understand them. Our indignation at their irrationality is a sign that we need to stretch our compassion."
When I am more compassionate, and understanding with my son, I have more peace.
Thank you for reading this! May you have more peace!
Love,
Alison